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The Man's dictionary

How often have us guys been told to "Say what you mean" by our beloved lady friends?

The question is "Why should we if it saves some hassles?"

Do the following "shortcuts" sound familiar? If not take notes as they might come in useful sometime, LOL!


"IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

 

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

 

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

 

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

 

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

 

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

 

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?"

 

Question

 

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'FTroop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

 

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

 

"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

 

"I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

 

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

 

"I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."

 

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

 

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

 

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."

 

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