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FAQs about women

 

Why do women exist?
Who else is going to cook the dinner?.

 

What is the similarity between a dolphin and a woman?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove it.

 

Why can't a woman be both attractive and intelligent?
Because that would make her a man


Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

 

Why is a woman's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.

 

Why do men not get married as often these days?
Because they would rather have a steak in the fridge than a cow in the living room.

 

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

 

Why is the females' intelligence worth more than the males'?
It is rarer.

 

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them
to stand closer to the kitchen sink.



Why do women have legs?
So they can get from the kitchen to the bedroom.



Why do brides wear white?
So they match the white-ware in the kitchen



How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
'Cos she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

 

If a man hits a woman with his car, who is to blame?
Who is to blame??? What's he doing driving in the kitchen?

 

What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive woman.
A rumour.

 

What do you never want to hear while having good sex?
Honey, I'm home!

 

How do you know that a woman is lying?
Her lips are moving.

 

What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
...45lbs

 

What is it called when a man talks dirty to a woman?
...sexual harassment.

 

What is it called when a woman talks dirty to a man?
...$9.99 per minute.

 

How can you tell when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.

 

What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

 

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

 

Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
He died laughing before he could tell anyone.

 

What's the punishment for bigamy?
Two mother-in-laws!

 

What have you done wrong if your wife keeps coming
out of the kitchen and nagging you?

You've made her chain too long.

 

Why are women and parking places the same?
Because all the good ones are taken
and the only ones left are disabled.

 

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and complain.

 

'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking,
how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

 

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